Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Mitch Hedberg
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  2. You are beautiful like demolition. Just the thought of you draws my knuckles white. I don’t need a god. I have you and your beautiful mouth, your hands holding onto me, the nails leaving unfelt wounds, your hot breath on my neck. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>The... - Henry Rollins

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More Quotes By Mitch Hedberg
  1. Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

  2. Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

  3. I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs,...

  4. I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

  5. Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

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